Thursday, June 12, 2014 @ 9:43 AM
Bila dibakar sehelai kertas itu, musnah, hancur, kau rasa boleh dibaiki semula ke kertas yang dibakar itu tadi? Tidak. Kau tahu apa aku rasa sekarang bila fikir pasal kau? Musnah. Aku nak ingat balik kenapa aku pernah ada crush pada kau suatu ketika dahulu walaupun aku tahu, aku tahu yang kau tak akan sedar aku, yang kau tak akan fahami perasaan aku, yang kau tak akan balas balik apa yang aku rasa walaupun aku tak minta lebih, sekadar ingin kau fahami perasaan yang inginkan balasan dari pihak sebelah bukan berdiam diri dan terus menipu diri ini yang tidak sudah membina impian di awan awan biru menggelap dan dihujani dengan pelangi.
I know that one day, i'll end up heartbreak. Like always. I've been through this too many times yet i'm still run towards it. I'm a dumb dumb dumbers yes i know. That one time when you cofront to me, i know what you will be saying but yet i want to listen to it, i know i will end up crying later, when we hung up the phone, but i end up lying that i'm okay, i'm smiling and i'm laughing. I mean, thats what i'm best at right? Pretending that nothing happen yet it broke half of my heart. I dont need your sympathy, no because I know all along that i'm going to go through that phase (heartbreak, crying, sneezing, weeping tears and watching sad soppy romance movies/dramas) . Its not fair you know, what you had done to me even though i know , i know this going to happen anyways.
Tell me again, i'm stupid.
So then I stop.
I stop thinking about you. I stop crushing at you. I stop dreaming about you. I stop texting you. I stop calling you. I stop liking your pictures in instagram. I stop liking your posts. I stop everything. And you ask me why, are you that dumb? But I don't care, I told you anyway cause I want you to know, how ugly you made me after those confession you made that night over the phone. I want you to feel the pain that i hold all along before i get up from my sleepless dreams.
And i'm fine. (not really. I guess. Yes, i'm fine!)
Because I know, that having these crushes is stupid. You will end up heartbreak all over again and again. And it will stop, when that person reply the same thing to you . I'm going to wait for that. But for now, I'm going to stop all these foolishness. I'm also going to stop doing the same things to others. They don't deserve all these. But let be honest right? Thats is very important in any relationship we're having!
So yes, i will stop having this crush. (But i will still going to crush on Baekhyun and Luke)
xxx,
Bunga Merah.
now playing; Heartbreak girl - 5 Seconds Of Summer.
